Ask the Crane Concierge: Your Stationery Etiquette Questions Answered, part 2

crane-conciergeOur Crane Concierge spends her days offering etiquette advice of the epistolary variety to brides, businesses and everyday correspondents alike. We thought we’d share a handful of recent queries. If you have a question for our Concierge, email her at


How do I include a nickname with my name on stationery? I am known by the nickname in my community, i.e. Susan Hindle (Su) George. Would this be acceptable? Or is there a better way?
If your correspondence will be mostly personal and not professional, I would suggest using your nickname (Su George), as this is the name your friends and family know you by. If, however, you will be using it for professional stationery as well, I would suggest using your given name and — for your personal notes — signing with your nickname.


We live in a condominium and I would appreciate your advice on the proper way to show the return address on the back of the envelope. Our address is 2575 Peachtree Road, NE, unit 9B, Atlanta, Georgia 30305. Should Northeast be spelled out? Should the unit number be shown as #9B or another way?
In this case, NE should not be spelled out, however there are several ways you can present your apartment number. My favorite way is to print it above the address line, such as:

2575 Peachtree Road, NE
Atlanta, Georgia

You can also do:

2575 Peachtree Road, NE
Atlanta, Georgia


2575 Peachtree Road, NE
unit 9B
Atlanta, Georgia


2575 Peachtree Road, NE * unit 9B * Atlanta, Georgia


I am married, but go by my maiden name. I have social stationery with my name only. Should I also have stationery with both my and my husband’s name? If so, in what order and how should our names appear? Also, my husband goes By the name “Chris” amongst friends, and this stationery would be used only for social purposes, not business purposes, so should we use “Chris” instead of “John” for his first name? Conversely, if I did get stationery with both our names, should I retire the stationery with my name only?
Since personal and couples’ stationery are generally used for different occasions, both should be a part of your stationery wardrobe. For thank-you notes and correspondence that should only come from you (a response to a birthday present or a note to a friend, for example), your personal stationery should be used. For thank you’s or notes that should come from both you and your husband, couples’ stationery is most appropriate. Since you have kept your maiden name and this is “social” stationery, I would suggest: “Allison Byrd and Chris Snider”.


What is the proper etiquette on invitation if a father of bride is deceased and mother is contributing to wedding but not paying for all?
Traditionally, if a parent is deceased, his/her name is not on the invitation and instead he/she is honored in some other way, such as in the program and/or in a prayer during the ceremony.

It is the couple’s decision who they would like to present as the person(s) issuing the invitation. Of course, it is always wise to confer with your family to ensure they are comfortable with your decision. Below are a couple suggestions:

Mrs. Jane Smith
requests the honour of your presence
at the marriage of…


Together with their families
Mary Elizabeth Smith
John Thomas Adams
request the honour of your presence
at their marriage…


I was hoping you could tell me the proper way to address a hand delivered note or letter (not a wedding invitation). Do I still include a mailing or return address? I assume it is not necessary, but is it best/necessary to somehow mark the envelope so the addressee can see who the correspondence is from without opening the envelope?
It is not necessary to indicate who the letter is from on the outside of the envelope. In fact, I believe it adds to the excitement and mystery.

This entry was posted in Etiquette, Resources and tagged , , , , , by craneandco. Bookmark the permalink.

About craneandco

More than 200 years ago, Stephen Crane decided to make a statement. And it wasn’t with his fashion forward breeches or well-groomed mutton chops. It was with his Liberty Paper Mill, named so just two years after the British occupied Boston – and just five miles away. A tres bold move, if we do say so ourselves. Today, Crane & Co. still calls Dalton home, our 100 percent cotton paper still incites swoons, and we’re still making bold statements. Still not with breeches.

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